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You're jailbait (and a work of FICTION, I might add!)... but God you're good for my eyes. 
Don't judge me. |
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| You don't walk into the cinema expecting a tear-jerking film. In fact, I'd be surprised if you told me that you were looking forward to how the story unfolds (assuming you, like myself, didn't read the books) and were hoping to be blown away by the unfortunate love triangle that is Bella, Edward, and Jacob.
In my opinion, there's not much else to the movie, save Jacob's rippling abs to ogle at and (I ADMIT!) more of Cullen's dreamy sappiness all us girls secretly pine for - albeit, the creepiness of it all i.e. "You're my own personal brand of heroin"... seriously?!
So while that smokin' hot werewolf was nowhere in sight, I daydreamed about what it would be like to date a Twilight boy-toy. The results... not something you could twist into a romantic novel.
1. Coping with Personality Disorders
A fixation with blood, anger management issues... there will always be something that sets these guys off, so if you're looking for a relationship with one of them, prepare yourself to be the insanely tolerant type. A paper-cut could leave you dead, or you might just find yourself in a situation where you're at risk of getting your eyeballs scratched out, but hey, all in the name of love yeah?
2. NOT being the Better-Looking Half
For a lot of girls, this is the unspoken deal-breaker. Coincidentally (or call it good casting, whatever), these creatures are a ridiculously, orgasm-inducing brand of HOT and while they're good for the eyes, it's going to be murder for your ego... if not already for what's even more important - read #1.
... and
3. APPARENTLY, you have to be a fickle-minded, reckless, annoying, moody, broody, clingy, emotional wreck of a teenage girl who can't see what's good for her even if it bit her in the nose (and knowing angry werewolves, they just might!).
READ: BELLA SWAN. And most of us girls are (at most times, ehem) only a maximum of 3 of those things before we're deemed incapable of ever nailing anybody decent.
So, alas Jacob, love, I'll just keep dreaming of those delicious muscles of yours from afar. 
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| I do not like green eggs and ham.
And I DO NOT LIKE when people try to invite you to their own fan pages... 3 MILLION TIMES. For every time I reject your request, that's me trying to tell you that I would not LIKE to be affiliated with really creepy beauty pageants, and I hope there's not much more of this you can take.
STOP IT.
This also applies to DJs whose music I never listen to, and restaurants (yes, restaurants) I'll probably never visit.
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| ... because you remember things I wouldn't expect anybody to find so important - for so long, like Krispy Kreme cakes and a jacket I liked.
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| People say there are plenty of fish in the sea.
Who cares?
I'm pretty damn content with my whale dolphin*.
* edited according to a preference for the world's most adorable animal
... and 'walrus', 'sea lion', and 'turtle' too.
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